thus making me awesome and them whores
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
