I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize