my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize