They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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