Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
