Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
