Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I will pee on everything he values.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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