Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
