So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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