my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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