Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
