Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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