I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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