Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize