the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
