It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
