Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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