I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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