No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
