also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
