I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
