JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
