Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
