just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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