Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
