hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
