i just google imaged poop.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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