I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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