I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
