Kiss
Puke
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
