I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk is a universal language darling
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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