singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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