I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
