WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
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i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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