Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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