its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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