I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
