Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
