garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
