Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
