It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize