i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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