I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.