im drinking this country out of the recession.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.