what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.