Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one