I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If you need anything just hit me up
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.