I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize