My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
