Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
