Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
