I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
