He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
