I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
