why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
