$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
