She announced her abortion via fbk
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
