Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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