ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
