its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
