WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
