how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
