I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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