I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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