and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
