So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
