fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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