Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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