weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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