4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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